The girl was born on the Saturday of the Michigan/Ohio State game at kick-off time. The ob-gyn had season tickets and was hot to get out of there and see at least part of the game. So the girl was pulled out with forcepts and still has the indentations on either side of her head, just above the ears, to show for it. When told he had a daughter, the new father's first words were, "Oh, shit!" The girl knows this because it was immortalized in her baby book; the book in which her mother faithfully documented every feeding, bowel movement, vacination, and word learned.
The girl's mother was an actual, real-life ballerina. The mother had big plans for her daughter to become a star of the ballet as well. What she didn't plan on was having a total klutz for a child. The girl studied ballet for a few years but it was apparent to all it was a waste of time and money. Instead, the daughter went on to be a constant disappointment to the mother for the rest of her life, even though she excelled in school and graduated from college with a degree in a challenging course of study.
In the following chapters we will, in painful detail, delve into the excruciating childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood of this girl.